Full Mansion
by Danfics
Summary: After the girls get into an escapade that blows up the house, Danny Tanner and co move in with the people at Smash Mansion, but will the family be able to handle it there when Mario places them in the same room as the malevolent Mewtwo? Will they survive through the fights and outbursts at the mansion? Stephanie TannerXMega Man. You could have prevented this from being written.
1. Prologue: Full Mansion

Knock knock knock. Mario's ears perked up as he heard the door knock. It was 6:00 AM, and the plumber was surprised. He was expecting his clients to arrive today, but not quite so early. Mario's coffee maker hadn't even finished producing his sweet morning salvation. Nonetheless, Mario yawned and walked over to the door in his Sunday best. Well, not really his Sunday best, but actually his morning robe.

Mario opened the door to be greeted with a handsome man who looked to be in his 30s. He held a microphone and wore a smile with a business suit. "Hello Mr. Mario, I'm Danny Tanner and the host of Wake Up San Francisco! Is there anything you'd like to say to the viewers, my handsome new landlord?"

Mario was taken back. Beyond the man he could see a news vehicle and what appeared to be the man's family. The man, Danny as he called himself, mentioned in his sign-up sheet for staying at the mansion that his family would be coming along, but Mario had not expected for him to bring three daughters, two men who were likely his brothers, two twins, a propane salesmen, and a dog. Sure enough however, he did. Mario hoped the reporters around him weren't family members as well.

"Wow, that's'a lot of'a people you have there!" Mario said with a smile and welcoming voice. "I take it your'a TV show host?"

"Yep, that's right! Mr. Mario I am such a big fan and to give my thanks for letting my large yet humble family stay at your mansion, I figured I would let you co-star my talk show today. I've been doing these episodes alone ever since my friend's wife Becky saldy passed away," Danny said.

Mario tried taking that all in at once. It seemed like a lot. "Wow..." he begun. "I'm sorry to hear of your friend's wife. My'a condolences."

"Oh, no, it's okay I assure you. Likely Uncle Jesse managed to move on and find a new love. He and his new spouse Hank Hill are like kindred spirits, you see. They love each other so," Danny explained, half looking into the camera and half looking at Mario.

"So'a... you're all welcome to come on in but are you'a going to be recording inside? Because we have a no'a camera policy," Mario said, trying to deliver the rule politely.

"Oh! Well if that's the case, then I guess I'll be off air today," Danny replied. He waved his hand as a signal and the reporters shut everything down and piled into their vehicle. Mario welcomed everyone as they entered.

"So I suppose I should introduce you to my extended family," Danny begun.

"This is DJ. My first daughter. Careful to lock up the snacks tight at night! DJ can get really hungry for midnight snacks, and if you're as much as a neat freak as I am you know those can get messy!" Danny said as his daughter showed visual displeasure at just about everything in her description.

"Next up, we have Stephanie," Danny begun. "My second daughter. She follows in DJ's foot steps and is adorable," the man continued. "And speaking of adorable," he said as he pointed toward the youngest girl in the group. "This is my youngest daughter Michelle. I know you'll all love her even though she can be a handful."

Mario was okay with what he saw so far. Everyone seemed nice and the father himself appeared friendly. After Danny was done introducing his daughters, the man with long black hair walked up to Mario and shook his hand.

"I'm Uncle Jesse," the man with black hair greeted.

Mario returned the shake with a tight grasp. "Nice to'a meet you, and sorry about your'a wife."

Uncle Jesse let a small tear release. "It's okay, I've moved on. Thanks for your concerns, but with Hank, my life is back to a firm and good state," he replied. "Honey, why not introduce yourself," he asked as he notioned toward a man with brown hair and glasses.

The man approached Mario and shook his hand in a similar fashion as Uncle Jesse had. "I'm Hank Hill, and I sell propane and propane accessories. I used to live in Texas until a propane accident blew up the house. I lost the kid, the wife, and even the dog," Hank begun. He was tearing up now. "I also lost my niece, and the blast... also took down some of the neighborhood. Oh Khan, I'm so sorry if you can hear me up there," Hank continued as he looked toward the sky with tears streaming down his face.

Mario felt himself tensing up inside. He felt guilty for evoking sorrow in Hank even if he only shook his hand. He let go of Hank's hand and patted him on the back. "I'm'a sorry, Hank."

"Thanks. It's just that I've been so dang emotional since then. My old wife Peggy, she would have been telling me to talk about it if she were alive. But she's not, so I make myself talk," Hank explained as he wiped away tears. Uncle Jesse hugged him from behind and consoled him.

"A-anyway," Danny spoke up. "This is our dog Comet and the two young twins you see are the children of Jesse and Hank. Their names are Nicky and Alex."

"Hello Comet, Hello Nicky and Alex," Mario said. He smiled at them.

"They really love your Super Mario games," Hank said as he sniffled and smiled.

"And saving the best for last," said the blond man who hadn't spoken until now. "Uncle Joey!"

Uncle Joey definitely seemed like a character, and a zany one at that. Mario already felt slightly annoyed. If anyone was going to be a handful, he thought. It would be Joey.

"Well, I'm sure you'll'a recognize many faces around here, so I'll'a have you just introduce yourselves to people rather than have me call them all'a out here," Mario said. "Now it's'a time to show you all to your room."

"Ooh! Is it a big room?" DJ asked with excitement.

"Oh man! Do we all get different rooms?" Joey squeaked in giddy excitement.

"No, just one room. We're booked so during your one week stay you'll be confined to one room, sorry. Our usual guest room got destroyed after Sonic told Pac-Man he was 'fruity' when he ate a cherry. They got into a fight because Pac-Man wasn't having any of that shit," Mario explained.

"Please! Don't use language like that around the children!" Danny shouted.

Mario was drawn back. "O-oh, sorry! That'a shit just'a slipped out!" he stammered.

"No, I'm sorry for yelling. I don't know the rules around here, but if we can place a rule that doesn't encourage the usage of profanity, I would be grateful," Danny said as he went back to his usual nonchalant mood. It seemed he had a short temper...

"Alright, then. No profanity around the guests," Mario noted aloud. "Now as I was saying, you're all going to be in a single room. Our 'extra' room that our recently welcomed back member Mewtwo is staying in. Just a warning, though... he can be a little problematic."

"Problematic?" Danny inquired.

"Yeah, he's a little... rowdy. We kicked him out once but we're giving him another shot. If he does anything bad again, we're banishing him for good," Mario explained.

"Well, that's good. We'll try to be friendly with him and tell you if he does anything problematic then," Danny said.

And with that, Mario and Danny exchanged friendly glances, but Mario couldn't help but feel something was about to go wrong. So deadly wrong.

* * *

Since it was so early, Danny agreed with Mario's notion of getting some shut eye so everyone could wake up around 9:00 AM. When Danny and co unpacked, Mewtwo awoke from his bed and looked around in the room only to see the new guests occupying the abundance of bunk beds throughout it. He grunted and rolled around to his side. "I'm on to you freeloaders. I know exactly what you plan to do," Mewtwo grumbled. He clenched his fist like an edgy edgelord before closing eyes and rolling over in his bed.


	2. Chapter 1: Day 1

Mario got up out of bed and put on the fresh and clean clothing that was on his nightstand. A brand new exciting day in Smash Brothers Mansion was in store for him, and this would be the first day with the new guests! Mario walked down the stairs as he left behind his bed where Peach was still sleeping in. He was only halfway downstairs when he suddenly heard a "WHAT THE HELL?" erupt from the kitchen. Mario panicked and rushed it.

Mario ran into the kitchen only to find Danny Tanner scolding Ness, Lucas, Nana, Popo, and a bunch of other little kids.

"And just who the hell told you that you can just eat messy, crummy cookies this early in the morning?!" Danny shouted. His face was ruddy with anger.

The children were crying as their precious cookies dropped from their mouths.

"And you think spitting them up is going to make it any better? I have to clean that up now!" Danny yelled as he swatted a newspaper through the air. "This is even worse than our house back in San Francisco!"

"Danny!" Mario called. Danny looked back at Mario and his expression went from anger to blank. "What do you'a think you're doing?"

"I-I was just trying to keep it clean in here! Oh my God, I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me," Danny cried. "I've just had so much stresst lately and I've kept forgetting to take my anger management pills lately. It won't happen again, I'm sorry."

"It's'a fine for now. Just'a stick to your promise and your'a forgiven," Mario said, unsure of himself.

"Thank you. I'll clean up their cookie mush off the floor," Danny said as he ran off to get a mop.

* * *

Mega Man booted up at 10:00 AM just like every other day. He looked through his database real quick and noticed a message from Mario detailing new visitors staying at the mansion for a week. Mega Man was intrigued to meet them. New faces would be a good chance to make some friends, after all. And honestly? Mega Man lusted for some new friends, he was a rather lonely guy.

So Mega Man made his way toward the workout room so he could train with some of his various weapons. It was only as soon as he entered the room he noticed two new faces, ones he recognized as DJ and Stephanie from the information Mario had sent to his server. Hee approached carefully and shyly, trying to give a welcome image.

"Oh look, it's Astroboy!" Stephanie said with excitement as she pointed at Mega Man.

Captain Falcon and Sonic high fived each other as they laughed at Mega Man while running on parallel treadmills. Ganondorf was lifting weights like he did everyday and he almost dropped one while laughing. Mega Man tensed up in embarrassment.

"That's not Astroboy, that's Mega Man. We had all his games on our Nintendo back at home until YOU blew up our house," DJ replied, acting like some sort of know-it-all. She was proud of her knowledge.

"That is correct," Mega Man stated awkwardly, trying to pass off as human as he possibly could.

"Aw, for a robot, he is kind of cute," Stephanie said.

DJ giggled. "Then why don't I leave you with him for the day?" she said as she started to walk away. "Have fun you two!"

DJ exited the room as Stephanie groaned. "That really wasn't necessary. Oh well. My name is Stephanie and that was my sister DJ. Don't mind her, we can hang out on our own."

* * *

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Mewtwo yelled. He clenched his foe by the neck and threw him against the wall. "Don't act like you have no idea what's going on! You can't hide anything from me!"

"What are you talking about?" Joey yelled in pain. A bunch of spectating Smashers backed up from him to create a clear path for Mewtwo.

"Stop hurting me! What did I do?" Joey shrieked.

"YOU CAN'T FOOL ME!" Mewtwo shouted with lots of edge. Ow the edge.

Mario ran into the scene. "Mewtwo!" he shouted.

"What now, plumber boy? I'm trying to take care of something here," Mewtwo said with annoyance.

"You're killing one of our new guests!" Mario yelled back.

"And?" Mewtwo said casually with a shit-eating grin.

"And that's'a not okay!"

Before Mewtwo could respond, he suddenly noticed himself getting sucked into a portal. He looked over and saw Mario to be the source of it.

"Dammit, forgot he could do that. Oh well, his loss," Mewtwo mumbled. "You'll regret this!"

Mario ran over to Joey and told the crowd to go back to minding their own business. "Are you'a alright?" Mario asked. He helped pull Joey up.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Joey panted. "Almost died, but I'm fine."

"Come on, we'll get you to the nurse's officer and then we-" Mario begun, but was abruptly cut off by loud sounds. He dropped Joey and ran into the next room only to find Duck Hunt Dog and Comet the Dog fighting. Duck Hunt Dog was tearing into Comet.

"I'll rucking rill you!" Duck Hunt Dog barked. Comet screeched as Duck Hunt Dog bit in harder.

"Ducky! Why are you doing this?" Mario yelled. He was shocked to see such a friendly dog such as Ducky trying to kill another friendly dog.

"He ralled my rom a ritch. Row he rill ray!" Duck Hunt Dog, or rather, Ducky, said as he and Comet tussled.

Mario knew it was dangerous to get between dogs when they were trying to murder each other, so he kept his distance as he prepared to leap at the wild animals. Then, Samus suddenly showed up at his side, in her armor.

"I could get in there. It's not gonna hurt to get bit with all this heavy stuff on," she said. Mario nodded and she walked in. Ducky bit onto her armor and everyone swore that at that moment, they heard his teeth shatter.

"Bad dog!" Samus shouted.

"Rad rog!" Ducky barked back in tears.

Danny came running in. "What the hell happened to my dog?" he yelled.

"Oh! Sorry'a mister Tanner. We don't'a know what just happened, they were just fighting out of nowhere!" Mario replied. He didn't want this situation to get any worse.

"Yeah? And what's with all this stuff I hear about Joey getting beat up by that psychopath?" Danny stammered. His face was red with anger as usual. "The contract we signed makes us eligible to sue you for any harm done!"

"Mr. Tanner, I am so sorry. Please, we'a took care of'a Mewtwo and Ducky the Dog. Your'a dog only has a few bites, he should'a be fine!" Mario worriedly replied.

"Fine, you're right. You got rid of and or tamed the threats. But next time something like this happens, we WILL sue. You got that?" Danny said.

Mario was uncomfortable. Danny's eyes were like laser beams to him. He gulped, then said, "Yes, Mr. Tanner. We won't let anymore harm come to you, we promise."

* * *

Sunday

February 22nd, 2015

Today was the first day our new guests spent at the Smash Mansion. Things didn't go well by any stretch of the imagination. Mario seems rather stressed already, and I could tell because early in the morning when the guests first showed up he already seemed a little off. Apparently, not just one or two, but three outburts have already happened today from what I've heard from just about everyone. Two out of three of those were physical fights as well, both at the expense of our guests. If we're not careful, we could get our pants sued off. Oh well, it is very late, and if things are going to be as hellish tomorrow as they were today, I'm going to need some sleep.


	3. Chapter 2: Day 2

Mario was sleeping in a peaceful, wonderful bliss until his former rival suddenly woke up him.

"What is it now, Sonic?" Mario asked.

"MY FUCKING CHILI DOGS ARE GONE. GONE!" Sonic shouted.

"And? Maybe you'a just ate them all!" Mario grumpily replied. He turned his back to Sonic as he yawned and shut his eyes.

"I saved ten in the fridge. Ten! And now they're missing! One of the guests had to have ate them!" Sonc complained.

It then hit Mario that it probably was the guests stealing Sonic's food. Mario reluctantly got up out of bed leaving both Peach and his warm blankets behind. He followed Sonic downstairs and into the kitchen. He immediately froze as he heard inhumane sounds and hissing. Mario and Sonic backed up into the hallway and peaked into the kitchen while hiding behind the door. It was DJ Tanner, oen of Danny's daughters. She was sitting on the counter consuming all the food. She was stuffing cookies into her face and relentlessly snacking on various jars of pickles she got out of the fridge.

"She's eating all the food!" Sonic whisper-yelled at Mario.

"Duh, I can'a see that. What do you want me to'a do?" Mario retorted. He was getting annoyed by Sonic's bossy attitude.

"Stop her from eating the food! You're the one in charge around here anyway," Sonic impatiently replied.

Without a word, Mario inched into the kitchen carefully. He was directly across the room from DJ. She looked up at him with malice.

"DJ, was it?" Mario begun. DJ just nodded at him. "You're eating all the food."

"So?" DJ responded as she wiped crumbs off her face.

"Well, you'a see we keep enough food in the fridge to'a last us all for a week. And you're kind'a of eating it all."

DJ just grunted and jumped off the counter. She pushed Mario aside and walked out of the kitchen and started heading back to what Mario hoped was her room. Sonic entered the kitchen with a pissed off look. Mario, not wanting to deal with his shit, told him to go back to his room and that he would buy him some more chili dogs sometime soon.

* * *

Mario laid back down in bed and slept for a few hours. He was awoken by loud screams. It was Danny. Mario rushed downstairs and emerged in a room full commotion. Danny was there, along with his daughters DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle, in addition to Fox, Falco, and Wolf.

"Get away from my daughters you sinful furry freaks!" Danny yelled.

"Whoa! Calm down, all we were doing was chatting about our space warfare," Fox said in panic. He was sweating with fear.

"No! You were trying to persuade my daughters to follow your gross furry lifestyle! Why are dressed so nicely and handsomely? Are you trying to make my daughters want to intercourse with ANIMALS AND GO TO HELL?" Danny shrieked.

Fox and his fellow furry friends (well, douchey teammate and rival at least) gasped. "It isn't like that! We're not furries, we're just realistically designed anthropomorphic animals!" Fox said in defense. Falco was just standing around pissed off while Wolf was scratching himself like a dog.

"That's just what you say, but I've seen the things people have said about you all online! You can't fool me," Danny yelled.

Mario walked over to them and coughed loudly for attention.

"Oh, Mr. Mario. Good morning to you," Danny greeted.

"What's the problem?" Mario asked in a moot tone. He wasn't willing to put up with this crap.

"Oh, well you see, I have a problem with some of the people here. You see, as a clean man I am not fond of these... 'furries,' as they are called," Danny explained.

"Dad! They're not furries and they're basically just human anyway! Plus they're kind of cute," DJ whined.

Danny gave his daughter a cold glare. "Don't you ever say anything like that ever again."

"But, Dad!"

"No."

"I hate you!" DJ cried as she ran out of the room. Stephanie just shrugged and Michelle was just sitting around, not paying attention.

"Mr. Tanner, if I were to separate your daughters from my friends here, would you be satisfied?" Mario asked.

"Yes. If you were to kick them out of the mansion for as long as my family stays, I would be grateful," Danny said casually and calmly.

"Kick us out?" Falco yapped.

"Mr. Tanner, surely there'a is another way, yes?" Mario asked.

"No. I can't have these... things... in the same household as my wonderful daughters. Please, just dispose of them for now. Otherwise, I would unfortunately have to sue and our contract allows me to do so."

"Mr. Tanner!"

"The contract," Danny firmly restated.

"Fine," Mario pouted in annoyance. He looked toward Fox and his companions. "Can you three just leave until this week is over? I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"Mario, you can't just expect us to live out on the streets, right?" Fox bleakly inquired.

Mario was coffee-less and had no desire to further explore the subject. "You're already all a bunch of animals. Just'a go."

Fox, Falco, and Wolf whined and mumbled to themselves as they left the mansion.

"Thanks Mario. I'm gonna go clean to show my appreciation!" Danny said happily. He departed immediately as he pulled a duster feather out of his pocket.

Sonic then ran in with a worried expression.

"You're kicking out all the furries?" he worriedly asked.

"No, calm down. You're past your hyper realism phase. He's not going to ask me to kick out anything innocent and cartoony," Mario assured his... well, I guess you can call them friends.

"Thank God."

* * *

Mario was minding his own business and wandering around through the mansion as usual. With Fox, Falco, and Wolf gone, he realized he should probably move Danny and some of his family into their rooms. As he walked along, he decided to look for Danny to pass this on to him. Then he noticed something out of place in one of the hallways. One of the locked storage rooms was wide open. Mario darted inside only to find Danny Tanner dusting off a giant, beautiful vase.

"Hey! What are you'a doing in here?" Mario yelled. The yell startled Danny so much he shook and accidentally knocked the vase over.

"Oh my God! I am so sorry!" Danny screamed as he already begun to sweep up the broken bits.

"How did you get in here? This room was locked?"

"Well while I was cleaning everything up I figured I'd clean this room too so I found a key in your office," Danny explained. He was blushing.

"You can't just go into off-limit rooms!" Mario stammered.

"Sorry! I won't do it again! Since it's getting kind of late I'll just retire and go to bed. You won't see any tresspassing from me again, I promise!" Danny said. He started to run out of the room in emarrassment, but Mario got in between him in the door.

"Wait," he spoke up. "I'm relocating you to Fox's old room. Jesse and Hank can have Falco's, and Joey can go ahead and take Wolf's. The children can stay in their current room."

"Are you serious? That's so generous. And after everything I've asked of you!" Danny said. He hugged Mario to show his gratitude.

"Uh, sure," Mario mumbled as he pushed Danny away. "Just don't go causing anymore trouble."

* * *

Monday

February 23rd, 2015

Today was the second day our guests spent at Smash Mansion. They definitely have Mario on the edge. They're highly demanding, and even had three of our members kicked out while they stay here. I have bad feelings about them. They don't seem like bad people at heart, but they're just giving off a highly problematic image.


	4. Chapter 3: Day 3

Mario jumped out of bed. He was giddy with excitement and refreshened from his slumber. He made his way downstairs to the Battle Station, the room in Smash Mansion that shifted into a battlefield based on the battler's choice. Today was the day of the monthly Smash Tournament, a day everyone in the mansion loved. Nothing could ruin this day for Mario!

...Except, well, everything.

As Mario passed by the hall he noticed screams of terror from a room nearby. He entered and saw an unsightly sight; Comet the Dog. Dead. The dog torn to shreds, the room was full of dread. Mario gasped as he took in the situation. Danny was crouched near his beloved dog, sobbing loudly. Mario approached Danny carefully and started patting him on the back. Danny cried harder.

Then, someone entered the room with a loud yawn. Everyone looked their way, including Danny and Mario. It was Ducky.

"Rhat's roing on in rere?" Ducky nonchalantly asked.

"You!" Danny hissed as he pointed at the dog. "You did this!"

Ducky flinched and suddenly looked much more awake than before. "Me? What did I do?"

Danny then grabbed one of Comet's legs and held it out toward Ducky. Ducky cringed in shock and disgust. He backed up in horror.

"Comet?" he cried.

"You don't fool me, you sick freak!" Danny cried with a weak voice as he dropped his dog's leg and dropped his head helplessly into the palm of his hands.

Ducky shook his head. "We rought resterday, but I ridn't rill him!"

Everyone gave Ducky angry looks. The entire situation was weighed against him, and it all seemed justified. Even Mario himself was feeling rather suspicious of Ducky, even though Ducky himself was usually peaceful despite almost killing Comet the other day.

"I ridn't do it! I swear!" Ducky pleaded.

Danny whiped out a cell phone and put in a number.

"Who are you calling?" Mario asked.

"Animal control," Danny said through tears.

Ducky immediately tried running back out of the room, but some bystanders got between him and the door. Ganondorf picked him up and held him tightly. Ganondorf, evil as he was, had zero tolerance for animal abusers, even if they were animals themselves. To him, evil doggy had to go.

"Ret me ro!" Ducky begged. He tried clawing at Ganondorf but he was being held too tightly.

Danny got off the phone with animal control. Loud sirens could be heard down the street. Ducky squirmed faster and started shouting inaudile dog gibberish but Ganondorf kept his grip.

"Ducky, I know you're a good dog, but I have my doubts about all this. We can't have you around if you're a danger to us, especially our guests," Mario solemnly said.

Ducky looked Mario in the eyes. "Rease ret me ro."

"I can't."

Then animal control bursted into the house and Ganondorf handed Ducky over to an animal control lady who promptly put Ducky into a kennel and hauled it out. Ducky's cries for a court session were the last anyone heard of him.

* * *

Mario was sitting alone on the edge of the pool at the indoor pool within the Smash Mansion. He was in his swimming trunks, but he lacked the enthusiasm to dive in. Link, Samus, and Captain Falcon then came by in their swimming gear showing off their rockin' bods.

"T'sup Mario?" Link said in a surfer-accent. He felt embarrassed after doing so, so he immediately went back to being silent.

"Not much, Link. Just'a sitting here hoping for the best," Mario silently replied.

"Aw," Samus sighed. "Something's wrong. What's going on? Is it the guests?"

"Yep. Something is bothering me about them. I'd hate to throw any suspicion on them after that whole'a debacle today, but..." Mario trailed off.

"We'll spy on them," Captain Falcon casually said.

"What?" Mario asked, bewildered.

"We'll spy on our guests. We can find out if something is fishy about them or not that way," Captain Falcon elaborated. Link and Samus nodded in agreement.

Mario smiled, thankful for his lovely friends. "Thanks Guys."

* * *

Tuesday

February 24th, 2015

A tragedy took place today. It's honestly very scarring and I know I'm gonna have trouble going to bed tonight. Our guests have been problematic since Day 1, however, today we have wronged them. I never expected Ducky to have done something so horrible, but everything points toward him. I don't know what to think on the subject of Ducky, but a part of me wishes this was just a misunderstanding. Would someone else in the mansion do this? Is anyone that annoyed with our guests? Nonetheless, Mario told me that due to his intrigue with our recent guests, he shall have some people keep on eye on them. He has his most trusted friends on the job, and I hope it goes well for him.


	5. Chapter 4: Day 4

Link awoke and immediately begun his job. He got out of his pajamas and dressed up well, then slipped out of the room he shared with Zelda. He kept an eye on Danny from afar, carefully keeping distance between them. He followed him until Danny entered a cleaning closet. Link hid behind a curtain at the end of the hall. Danny exited the closet with supplies equipped all around his belt.

"Time to cleanse this filthy hole!" Danny said with a deep, serious voice. He walked off as Link resumed following him.

* * *

Captain Falcon knocked on the door of Jesse's room. The man opened the door and observed Captain Falcon.

"Hello there," Jesse greeted.

"Sup?" Captain Falcon said.

"Just making some beats with my husband and Joey. Wanna come in and help out?" Jesse offered.

Captain Falcon gave a welcoming grin and stepped in. Jesse walked over to a large soundboard and threw his arm around Hank, who was drinking a beer.

"This song is going to be great, I tell you what," Hank said lovingly as he kissed Jesse.

"Thanks, hun," Jesse said to Hank. He turned to Captain Falcon. "Welcome, Mr. Falcon. This is where the magic of music happens."

"Sounds interesting. You like rockin' out?" Captain Falcon asked.

"Rock n' roll is my whole life. Glad to meet a fellow fan. You like Elvis Presley?" Jesse asked.

"Hell yeah!" Captain Falcon replied enthusiastically. "Do you like Nickelback and Three Days Grace?"

"Hell no!" Jesse and Hank shouted in unison.

"Oh, thank God! That was a test," Captain Falcon said, relieved.

"Hey, how about that Willie Nelson?" Hank asked.

"Dude, I love Willie Nelson," Captain Falcon responded.

"Heh heh, we're gonna be good friends then. How about propane, do you like propane?" Hank asked his new friend.

Captain Falcon was impressed. Another propane fan? "Propane is the best! It's what I use to power up my special vehicle. Why, if it weren't for propane, my Blue Falcon wouldn't be as good as it is."

"That's great! You see, I'm a propane salesman. I sell propane and propane accessories," Hank informed his friend. They shook hands.

"Yeah, I used to use charcoal for my car, you see," Captain Falcon spoke up shamefully.

"Charcoal is just terrible," Hank Hill retorted. "You never get that perfect meat taste."

"Yeah, same goes for my car," Captain Falcon agreed.

"I love propane, but it's brought me lots of pain," Hank randomly said.

Captain Falcon noticed Jesse suddenly grab Hank's hand. Captin Falcon remembered hearing about Hank's tragic past, and he realized he was about to hear it.

"You see, I was getting ready to cook and have a BBQ with all my friends. Dale, Boomhauer, Bill, and even Kahn were there. The family was there too and Bobby was helping me with the propane. I told him to grab it and help me, but he poored in too much propane... the last thing I said was 'Dang it, Bobby!' and then the blast just happened. I heard screams of terror and saw Bobby blow to bits with my very own eyes. I felt so awful... I tried to turn myself in but they just sent me to therapy classes instead. And then I found myself in San Francisco, and that's where I met Uncle Jesse and we learned that we're kindred spirits," Hank monologued.

Captain Falcon shed a single stray tear. A tear full of the most genuine emotion he had ever felt. "I'm sorry to hear that," Captain Falcon said. He hugged both Jesse and Hank as they cried into him.

* * *

Samus approached DJ, Stephanie, Michelle, and... Mega Man, her ex.

"Sup ladies?" she greeted. They all looked over to her.

"Oh, I know you! You're from that Halo game, but we don't have an Xbox," Stephanie said.

"Actually," DJ begun, speaking matter-of-factly, "She's the space space bounty hunter Samus."

"I thought her name was Metroid," Michelle said. Samus ignored her.

"I thought I'd just introduce myself to you all," Samus said in a friendly manner while keeping her eyes away from Mega Man's direction. But she couldn't help it. She looked straight at him and he looked back with a blank expression. Damn emotionless robot, but she loved him anyway.

"Huh? Are you two friends?" Stephanie wondered aloud.

"Yeah. Well, we were. Once," Samus replied with a dull tone.

"It is over," Mega Man said in a moot robot voice.

Then it hit Stephanie that Samus and Mega Man had gone out once. "Back off, he's mine now!" she shouted.

Samus was angry. "You don't get to choose that!" she yelled back.

Stephanie was lucky, as Samus didn't have her armor on. However, she was still incredibly strong so when they started fist-fighting, she was able to deliver some pretty painful punches.

"That's enough you two!" DJ screamed as she tried separating them. She got between them and pushed them both away. "Steph, let her have her robot boyfriend back."

"No! He's mine now, and it's true love!"

"Oh yeah? Well what about when he leave the mansion, huh? Then how will you keep in touch?" DJ asked in a mocking tone. Samus already liked DJ even if she seemed horribly unlikable.

"Ehh, whatever. You'll see what you're missing out on, Blue Bomber. She'll leave and you'll come crawling back to me," Samus said. She walked off as Stephanie scoffed at her.

Link continued to trail Danny Tanner. He followed him around the house as Danny cleaned everything endlessly. He kept going and going, cleaning what was already clean. Then Danny decided to take a break after a few hours. He sat down in the empty library room. Link watched Danny from behind the entry door as he picked up a magazine and scrolled through it. As he did so, he started to talk to himself.

"Just a little longer," he mumbled. "I'm going to be doing a WHOLE lot more than cleaning, pretty soon. They'll see. They'll all see!"

Link's eyes widened. Things were heating up, and Danny was about to spill some beans (which he would probably just clean up immediately afterward). But then Pac-Man wandered into the library and grabbed a book and sat down, beginning to read it as he got comfortable in the corner of the room. Danny immediately stopped talking out loud and Link ran off before Danny spotted him.

* * *

Wednesday

February 25, 2015

Today the guests were spied on. It feels like a dirty thing to do, but I'm sure in the end we will be glad we did. In the long run, this is better to put Mario's mind at ease, and it seems our suspicions of the family may be valid. At least for Danny, according to what Link has reported us.


	6. Chapter 5: Day 5

Bang bang bang. Someone was knocking on the door. It was none other than Danny Tanner, demanding Mario get his ass out the door.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Danny shouted in Mario's face as soon as he opened the door.

Mario jumped and suddenly felt much more awake. "What do you mean?"

Danny frowned at him, giving him a death-glare. "You know what you goddamn did! You sent people to spy on my family! You think I didn't realize Robin Hood following me?"

"His name isn't Robin Hood," Mario begun. "His name is Link and I'a assure you, we meant no harm. We were just trying to keep tabs on you for the safety of everyone."

"By stalking my family?!"

"By making sure you don't go where you're not supposed to and to make sure nobody hurts you all like our'a goddamn dog did!"

Danny Tanner suddenly looked a little more relaxed. "Sorry," he pouted. "I guess you're right. It was for the best."

"Yeah, you'a see? I promise I'll call off the spying, but I cannot assure you that our residents won't'a still interact with your'a family."

"That's fine. I won't prevent them from making friends. Thanks again, Mario," Danny said as he walked off.

Mario grumbled to himself as he climbed back into bed. He needed more rest to put up with this shit.

* * *

Captain Falcon was again hanging around in Jesse's room. He found himself to already be close to Hank and Jesse, maybe even Joey to an extent. Hank promised to give Captain Falcon some special half-off propane, and that's when Jesse started to show signs of jealousy. He trailed Captain Falcon and Hank outside as they played with propane and loaded some into the Blue Falcon.

"Yep, this thing is definitely ready for a test run. Thing should run fast as ever with this propane," Hank observed as he gave Captain Falcon a friendly pat on the back.

"Thanks, man. Maybe you could watch me test run this thing?" Captain Falcon said.

"Yeah, but first we should get a bite to eat. Don't wanna race around with an empty stomach, do ya?" Hank chuckled.

So Hank and Captain Falcon left the scene and went back inside. Jesse came out of hiding and looked in the fuel tank. It was pretty open, and he realized he could drop something down there. He immediately ran back inside and ran around the mansion trying to come up with some plans. What could he drop in there? A bomb? He did recall a young kid that looked like the guy he saw following Danny the other day playing with a bomb. He spotted the kid in the archery room with his bag of supplies off to the side. Jesse sneaked up with stealth and grabbed one of the bombs out of his bag, then quickly booked it out of the room. He ran back outside to the racing track in the backyard. He peaked around and didn't see anyone, so he quickly took the cap back off the fuel tank and dropped the bomb inside.

"Yes, as soon as that ass takes off, he's gonna blow. That's what he gets for trying to take my man!" Jesse said aloud. He laughed, almost becoming aware of how gruesome his idea was for a second when he suddenly heard the sound of Hank's voice from the door neary. Jesse ran off and jumped behind a garbage bin.

"That was some good lunch I tell you what," Hank stated as he and Captain Falcon laughed.

"Yeah," Captain Falcon agreed. "Say, you wanna sit in the passenger seat and see how fast this bad boy can go?"

Hank's eyes lit up. "Do I? Of course I do! Let's get in and start this thing up!"

Jesse's eyes widened and his heart froze.

"No..."

Captain Falcon and Hank climbed into the car and it took off at rapid speed as Jesse ran from the garbage bin.

"NO!"

The vehicle blew up in the disance only a few seconds after taking off. Captain Falcon and Hank's remains flew up in bits through the air. They rained down to the ground as Jesse dropped to the ground in tears.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He started crying hysterically as Pac-Man ran out of the house in shock.

"What was that noise?" Pac-Man shrieked. He then looked over and saw the blast, body bits, and crater from the explosion. "Falcon... his car...? How?"

* * *

Mario sighed as he crossed Captain Falcon's name off of the member's list. He also worried about his financial status as he signed papers having to deal with Hank's death. Danny would definitely threat to sue if not Jesse himself. Mario truly felt sorry, feeling bad for worrying about things such as money at a time like this. He scheduled Captain Falcon's funeral for next week.

* * *

Samus was spying on Mega Man and Stephanie.

"You don't need her, right?" the girl asked her robot lover.

"Her I do not need," Mega Man stated in a robotic, dull voice.

"That's right! No Metroid for you. You're with me now," she said.

"I'm with you now," he said.

Samus clenched her fist and walked away. Soon she would pay.

* * *

Mario was lying down in bed talking to Peach when the phone suddenly rang.

"Hello?" Mario answered.

"Mr. Mario, is it? I have some bad news," the voice on the phone said.

Mario tightened up. What could it be now?

"I regret to inform you that Mr. Fox, Mr. Falco, and Mr. Wolf have all been hit by a drunk driver. They were walking along the side of the road and got hit. Mr. Falco is still alive, though in critical condition at the hospital. It is very unlikely he shall live."

Mario shed a tear.

* * *

Thursday

February 26, 2015

Today was the most tragic yet. Both our guests and residence lost people. Mario is deeply saddened by the loss of his friend Captain Falcon and Fox. He was close to those two and I know this is going to have a negative effect on him for quite some time. I just hope it doesn't bring him down for the rest of his life, though I wouldn't blame him. Our guests will only be staying a couple more days and then they're leaving. Thank goodness, I can't wait to see them leave.


	7. Chapter 6: Day 6

Mario woke up and called together the remaining members of Danny Tanner's family. Danny, Joey, Jesse's children, DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle showed up to listen to Mario.

"You all have to leave. Nothing but tragedy has happened since you arrived. Please understand," Mario said calmly.

"What? We can't leave! Our house isn't done being repaired!" Danny pleaded. "Do you expect us to just live out on the streets?"

"Wouldn't be any different than you making me kick my friends out before. Now they're dead," Mario coldly replied.

"I am deeply sorry, but don't pin this down on us! We've lost family too so you have no right to hold that against us," Danny said back.

Mario finally lost his cool and he leaped at Danny. Everyone started shouting at them as Joey got between them.

"Stop it! Stop it now! You've both lost yourselves!" Joey yelled. "Look, we're sorry for what we've done, but we've lost people as well. We can't just live out on the streets and we have nowhere else to go. We're only going to be here for another day. After tomorrow night, we're gone. Okay?"

Mario thought about it deeply. He knew he would regret it, but he decided to let them stay. "Just don't let anyone else die," he said. He wasn't sure who he was saying it to at this point.

* * *

Samus approached Mega Man, who was sitting alone.

"Sup blue bomber?" she greeted. She held his hand.

"Hello," Mega Man said.

Then Stephanie entered the room.

"Oh helllll no," she bickered. She walked over and grabbed Mega Man's other hand.

"I was here first. Isn't that how you play; first come, first serve?" Samus jeered.

Stephanie gave her a murderous look and yanked Mega Man away.

"Two can play at that game," Samus scoffed as she pulled Mega Man back.

Stephanie pulled harder as did Samus, with Mega Man just blankly letting it happen. He didn't know what to do, but it was starting to hurt.

"He was mine before you showed up!" Samus shouted. "We were just have some rough times, that's all!"

Stephanie laughed. "Yeah, right. He's been saying rude things about you all week!"

"Because he's a robot! He just says whatever you tell him to!"

Then Mega Man started screaming.

"Did you tell him to do that?" Stephanie stammered as she pulled on him harder.

Then Mega Man tore in half.

"Oh my God!" Stephanie and Samus shouted in unison. He was dead. Mega Man was dead.

"What have you done?" Samus yelled as she dove at Stephanie. They began fist-fighting as people ran into the room. Everyone took note of Mega Man and were too shocked to react to the entire spectacle.

Mario then ran into the room.

"Stop this'a instant!" he shouted, but Stephanie and Samus kept fighting. Then Mario saw Mega Man and he suddenly felt sick. He was torn in half with his eyes still open.

Then, Solid Snake ran in and held a gun to Stephanie and Samus.

"Stop."

The both stopped.

Danny ran in and saw the military man holding his daughter at gunpoint who was pinned down by a girl twice her height. He screamed.

"What the hell is happening now?!"

"Mr. Tanner!" Mario shouted in surprise.

Danny walked forward and pushed Mario aside. He grabbed his daughter by the hand and dragged her out of the room, without saying a word.

* * *

Friday

February 27, 2015

Tomorrow is the final day. After that, the guests finally leave. This will hopefully be enough to put Mario's mind at ease for a while. We just have to get through one more day. I know we can do it.


	8. Chapter 7: Day 7

Dawn of the Final Day. 24 hours remain.

Mario woke up with Link shaking him. He looked over at his alarm clock and noticed it was midnight.

"Get up, it's urgent," he said.

"What is it now?" Mario asked, worried, angry, and saddened all at the same time.

Link just pulled Mario forward and they walked down to the kitchen. Mario saw Sonic there. His head was snapped off due to a mouse trap with a chili dog instead of cheese. Mario was horrified.

"He's gone too far. Where is he? Where's Danny?!" Mario yelled.

"I don't know. I checked his room, but... maybe he's with Uncle Jesse? I'll go check and you can search elsewhere!" Link said. Mario nodded and Link ran off.

* * *

Link entered Jesse's room. He saw Jesse hung and tied to a noose in the center of the room and Joey was in the corner with his mouth taped shut. Link suddenly felt fear get the best of him as he turned around only to be greeted with the slice of a sword down his face.

* * *

Mario ran through the halls noticing that the windows were all boarded shut and that every door leading outside the house seemed to be locked and jammed from the other side. Every room was empty and silent. Mario suddenly remembered a series of panic rooms throughout the mansion that only the verified members of Smash Mansion knew about. He hopped into one in the middle of a hallway, opening a secret door in the wall. Inside the Villagers were huddled around, alongside Kirby and other friendly and young Smashers. Mario was glad to see them all safe and sound. He picked out the main Villager from all the different Villagers and talked with him.

"Is Peach safe? Where'a is she?" Mario worriedly asked.

"She's fine. She's hiding away in another shelter," Villager replied.

Mario calmed down. "Where is Danny, then?"

"Up in your office," the Villager answered.

Mario remembered his office. Right across from his bedroom in the hall.

"Thanks," Mario said. He immediately ran off. He ran up the stairs and kicked the door open. Danny Tanner was there, sitting in Mario's chair behind his desk. Behind him there was a cage where Joey, DJ, Stephanie, Michelle, and Jesse's children sat within.

"What the hell are you'a doing?" Mario yelled.

"Cleaning up the trash of not just this mansion, but the world. I've already gotten a head start," Danny casually said with a smile. He got up and walked over to the closet as he said this, then kicked it open. Luigi fell out, dead. Mario flinched.

"Bro!" Mario shouted with tears.

"And that's not all," Danny said as his voice raised. He knocked over the trash can and Link's body fell out with a split-up face.

Mario cringed in terror.

"Why are you doing this?" Mario demanded.

Danny Tanner laughed a very cliche evil laugh. "I'm a neat-freak, Mario. I kill with clean and clear precision. I'm cleaning the Earth of its true mess!"

"What, mankind? Is that your idea of a mess?" Mario yelled.

"Yes, it is a mess. A mess that has nothing to salvage. I was once a serial killer, you see. I've worked so hard to restore my image and get off the radar. I slipped away and developed the perfect guise as a family man. I reinvented myself which set back my progress a little, but now I'm almost done. Soon I will harness the power down below the Smash Mansion. With the Smash Ball that powers this mansion, I will develop the ultimate genocide machine. Truly, a weapon to surpass Metal Gear," Danny Tanner explained.

Mario was shocked and appalled. "What about your family? After all those years, did they truly mean nothing to you?"

"Oh Mario," Danny laughed. "If I cared about my family I wouldn't have killed my dog to frame somebody else."

Mario had enough. He leaped forward at Danny Tanner, dying only seconds later. A bullet straight through his head.

* * *

Saturday

February 28, 2015

The morning started off normally. I was groggy and tired, but then I heard screams. An alarm went off and people started to flee and make their way to the various panic rooms around the mansion. I wanted to wait for Mario, but I knew he would be facing the problem head-on rather than cowering away. I knew the Tanner family was bad news, or at least, the father of the family. Unfortunately we didn't act fast enough and that's how it all came down to this. I heard a gunshot from upstairs and Mario scream. I died a little on the inside when I knew he was gone, but I continued to stay in the shelter. Alone. Hours passed and I heard Danny wandering around the mansion. Evidently, he was looking for the Smash Ball and how to get to it. He almost entered my panic shelter but just barely missed it. I held my breath and let out a sigh of relief one he was out of audible range. It was then I decided I had to be the one to do something. I snuck out of the panic shelter when he had his back to me. I grabbed my frying pan in hand and slowly lifted it up. Danny suddenly perked to attention and begun to turn around and I whacked him across the face. He shouted in pain and reached for his gun but I kicked it out of his hands and immediately started hitting him once more, over and over. I kept whacking him relentlessly until he stopped moving. Other smashers began to emerge from their hiding spots and they all rejoiced as we worked together to take down the barricades.

"Aw, did I win~?"


End file.
